momzonroof

… she's not coming down 'til it all makes sense again…


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Yardsailing

YARDSALE

That’s me in a couple years, white hair and judging harshly the silver-plated offerings…

Yard sailing season officially in full swing, I got the shabbiest chic-est stuff today, without even tryin’…big pile of worn out (broken in) towels, sooooo soffffft and the palest palest pastels… they’re so shabby, Grandma would be horrified… but so soft and so limp, they’re heavy, like towels used to be, dense, made out of… real towel stuff…

a set of baby blue sheets that feel like.. sweet baby angel wings against your skin…

3 CD set of gospel classics with the Oak Ridge Boys and other white dudes, which was a bit of a disappointment because I saw “gospel” and thought “gospel choir”, which it ain’t, but it was in the free pile, so I can’t complain, but somehow I still managed to kvetch about it…

brand new sparkling magenta, not purple, not pink, it is MAGENTA,  hula hoop, for a dime!, that’s like… two nickels!

football spikes for Zack’s colossal amazing growing feet $1, he wanted $2, but laughed when I had the audacity to offer $1. They were brand new, and name-brand, and RED, which means FAST… he said, awwww take ’em…

waterproof Totes hiking boots for whoever fits em $1, same guy as the spikes, I offered $1, he laughed and said take ’em. I have zero shame. None. Not a molecule.

solid wood but made in taiwan sofa table what-fer paintin’ to match the dining room set and use as a side-board/junk catcher, hey let’s call it what it is…I started at $5 for it but she beat me up good and got $8 off me. I might mosaic the top too..

Oooooo and a stretchy bracelet with aurora borealis Austrian type crystals that throws tiny dancing colored lights all over my car when the sunlight hits my wrist and almost made me wreck till I figured out where it was coming from… I thought God was trying to tell me something as I did 65 down Rt 376

best score was a white waffle-knit cotton extra shabby and broken in blanket, for my bed when Mom and Dad visit.. Seems my floofy sweet baby angel wing satiny silky  peach comforter is like a FURNACE for them, especially Dad, so I tried giving them a vintage knit bedspread to use, but it was too big and bulky and hung over the edges of the bed, trapping them in its death weight… so then I tried stitching together two amazingly soft REAL PERCALE sheets, to make a sorta lightweight coverlet, but that one was too small for both of them to wrap in, and I think Dad ended up with frozen feet… I was starting to think of my Dad as some weird sorta hairy, masculine Goldilocks, you know, the porridge is too hot, the porridge is too cold, the porridge is too bulky, the porridge is too floooooofy… Or maybe he’s more like the Princess and the Pea… hmmmm… not sure he would appreciate EITHER characterization…  So I’m ready for the next visit, because that white cotton waffle knit is “juuuuuuust right,”  just like Baby Bear’s porridge and he will eat it all up… or something…

Took the kids and puppies to Dairy Queen for a little chocolate on chocolate action (dip cones), oh my gosh, I want another one now… Tied the horse out for a while and got some gardening in, transplanted tulips, planted some iris and hosta divisions… what a gorgeous day, grateful for another one…


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Dehumidifiers I have Known

I was gonna write about all the dehumidifiers in my life…. and there have been many… so many dehumidifier stories, shocking, shocking stories of dehumidifiers, crazy, wild, mind-blowing… dehumidifiers… Ahhh yes, it all began with a the dehumidifier in mom and dad’s basement…

dehumidifier-shut-off-lgThey had it at their house, and then they moved it to their cottage, where it stayed for 27billion years, just chugging away, never finished with its work, (kinda like motherhood..) the cottage was never dry, EVER, oh sure, a room here or a room there became unpleasantly HOT and dry for a short time, but then it all sank back into the wet, dank, and slippery… (also kinda like motherhood…) poor, poor little overworked little 1980’s dehumidifier… sad, really…

Do you know the general life-expectancy of a dehumidifier? I had to look it up, but some  people somewhere have actually studied this and assigned a number to it:

“The National Association of Home Builders estimates eight years as the average  lifespan of a dehumidifier and three to five years as the typical lifespan of  consistently-used residential units under normal operating conditions. The  Association’s study based the estimate on surveys of manufacturers, trade associations and researchers.”

THREE to FIVE, and possibly at optimal conditions, EIGHT years. Dad has kept that goony old dehumidifier going for nearly FORTY YEARS. Maybe more, I gotta ask him to check the back panel for the manufacturer’s date, and then we’ll know for sure. Because you know, even though he has recently finally replaced that old thing with a bright shiny new model, you know he dragged it out to his garage to strip it down for parts, or keep it for sentimental guy reasons…

And then I was gonna tell you about my own dehumidifiers, because I have two… But then I thought, “dehumidifiers I have known…” and it made me remember one of those stories we read in our Literature anthology book in high-school, “Hoods I have Known” and I remembered the weird tone that story had to it, a dangerousness… I can’t remember the plot, it’s sketchy, and I can’t find it on the innernetz either, it’s weird, it’s like it never existed… But then I found at least which anthology it’s in, it wasn’t a literature text book, it was a small paperback, and I think we have it here in the house, I think Cassie may have absconded with it to her room… She has a bookshelf back there, with a kinda funny collection, some are hers, some are mine.. and it tickles me to see what she’s chosen, because some of them are actually books that I absconded with from my own mother’s bookshelf… but here’s the book:

http://books.google.com/books?id=l2ky3NPImHkC&q=hoods+i+have+known#v=snippet&q=hoods%20i%20have%20known&f=false

on googlebooks, you can actually read a few pages of it, which was awesome, because I forgot how witty the writing was, I only remembered that the story made me afraid… Because I was that girl in school, I sat up front, straight and at attention, knees under desk, feet flat on floor, two #2 lead pencils sharpened and at the ready… I was frequently the “chosen one,” the one sent on errands or entrusted with the candy money, the ice cream money, the lunch tickets… Not so much “teacher’s pet”, more like the teachers knew they could count on me to get the math right, and to go straight to where I was supposed to go and come straight back to the room. I guess I was kinda boring in a way, but it made me feel important. And that’s what was so scary about the girl in the story, she had a certain “place” or “status” and she messed up, and all that was taken from her in one fell swoop… it scared me so bad that I forgot how friggin funny the story is.

Of course this anthology includes Flowers for Algernon, because it is an anthology, and by law, all anthologies must contain Flowers for Algernon. Creepy story, creeeeepy…and why? Why does that story have such a creepy vibe… maybe it was the cruelty… People can be just that cruel, and it’s disturbing when an author nails it like that. Or maybe it’s the thought that this could actually happen, sometime in the near future… and why not.

But both are stories of different skin. Being plunged into different skin. Drastic replacement of what you thought you knew to be your life, or your place. Or what other thought to be your place…

My dehumidifier is chugging along down in the gameroom… The gameroom is practically underground, with cement floor, and so tends to be damp and dank and slippery… I’ve actually owned the dehumidifier for about 3 years, but was too lazy to hook it up for 2 of those years, until now when it behooves me to actually breathe down there, as we have recently converted it into our bedroom.  So I let some of my dehumidifier’s predicted life-span waste away, while it sat there, forlornly, unplugged, un-used… there’s a metaphor in there…

NEW-MINI-LOVELY-DEHUMIDIFIERgreen dehumidwell, I didn’t know you could buy a dehumidifier shaped like a penguin. Nor was I aware that they had GREEN dehumidifiers. Mine are white and they are shaped like small hardworking soldiers. I would prefer a penguin.

Oh, and my other dehumidifier, I know you were wondering hahahahooohohohoooo, my other dehumidifier is over at the rental house. I’ve owned it for the same 3 years, and have been too lazy to hook it up. Yesterday we were over in that basement, replacing the washer and dryer for our daughter/renter. It is swampy and gross down there, very wet… And so “hook up rental dehumidifier” goes straight to the top of the to-do list. Scintillating!!

Ohmygosh, I forgot the most mind-blowing part of my dehumidifier tales: Dad’s new dehumidifier? It has a built-in pump. When the reservoir gets full, it has a little pump that pumps the water out through some kinda aquarium hose. Is your mind blown? Mine either, because I’m not sure I understand how that’s an improvement over just attaching a drain hose to it and letting it empty by gravity into a drain… Plus it’s another thing that can break down… and possibly shorten the predicted lifespan of your dehumidifier..  Dad’s real excited about it though. I’m just gonna let him enjoy  his dehumidifier joy though, I’m not gonna mention my reservations… That’s what family does for each other..