momzonroof

… she's not coming down 'til it all makes sense again…


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Moment of Zen

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My Timex 1440, Year 2, in the pool, outta the pool, sweating at the gym, crashing into the side of the washer and dryer as I pull clothes, smashing into fence posts, bashed with the shovel, scraping against the briars and the brambles, in the shower, in the sun, in the rain, hail, sleet, nothing fazes this watch yet, go, go, go… I kinda like this silly, cheap, funky, simple little watch, and I probably kinda identify with it a little, truth be told.. I think I am my watch… tic tic tic…

I have to hand my watch over to Zack though, when it’s daylight savings day, or I want and errant 4:45am alarm BLOWN UP… He knows how to press all those little buttons and in the right sequence… I can’t even read parts of my watch without my glasses anymore. It’s very sad. I’d really like to just sit down with him for a couple minutes, and actually concentrate and try to learn how to use all the features, now that I think about it… I love timers and alarms, they keep me motivated… I use the stovetop and microwave timers every day just about, to get things done that maybe I don’t much feel like doing… play Beat the Clock cleaning the bathrooms, or pulling that stinky filter from the washing machine…

Anyways, so he was removing that pesky 4:45am alarm a few weeks ago, and he must’ve accidently programmed an hourly little chime instead. Which at first was annoying. BEEP. another hour… BEEP… another hour BEEP… But then I remembered a little Zen kinda thingie I used to have on my computer.. a quiet chime that marked the hour, and reminded me to get my butt off the computer and smell the roses and stuff… at the time I needed that little reminder…

You can also use it to time your meditation: http://www.mindfulnessdc.org/bell/index.html Me, I don’t need that much any more, I’ve been using guided meditations on the mp3.., but still, a neat little tool.

But this hourly little chime on my wrist, I’ve gotten used to it, started to sorta use it to have a little moment of zen… stop and do a 360,  look around and see who and what’s around me that maybe I hadn’t noticed… or just take a breath… take stock of what I’m doing, what I’m spending my time on, my energy, my life… Because it is an exchange, we’re constantly trading our time on this earth for… what? things? pursuits? ruminations? regrets? dumb sh*t? cool sh*t? awesome sh*t? time with our kids? laughter? these are the things I’m learning to pay attention to… How am I spending my time, my life energy…

this morning when the chime went off at 7am, I was on the computer researching lilies and tulips and daffodils

at 8am, I was tossing a ball of yarn back and forth across the livingroom with Zack, Cassie was laughing at my lousy aim, Poppy had put her squeaky rubber bone on my chair so I would throw it, but I didn’t see it

at 9am, my husband was at the table, his hair all askew, drinking coffee, talking about work, which makes me sleep with my eyes open and glazed over

stopping and smellin the roses… oh boy…