momzonroof

… she's not coming down 'til it all makes sense again…

The Yes Man

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Oh doesn’t it make you all introspective… this time last year I turned 50, and thought it was my excuse to bow out of life and living. I thought I didn’t have to ride roller coasters any more, and I didn’t have to swim and I didn’t have to pretty much DO ANYTHING if I didn’t wanna dooooo… and one day around that same time, I found myself sitting on the shore, while the others ran and jumped and swam and played and shrieked with laughter… I was LITERALLY SITTING ON SHORE ON A BIG OLD BLANKET, EATING SANDWICHES WITH THE OLD PEOPLE!!!! While my husband and kids, and even my SISTER ran past me, whoopin’ and holleran’ and jumping in the water.. I was completely shut down. I thought I had it made. Sandwiches. and Me. Me and sandwiches…

My friend, Karen, would call me to go bike-riding. I’d make up an excuse. Michelle wanted to go walking… Excuse. Excuse. Cassie wanted to join the brand shiny new gym. I said, “shouldn’t we wait and see if it’s a SCAM?” and “Shouldn’t we go home and google it and read the reviews?” And she said I want to join, and she plunked down her $1 introductory fee, and signed the paper! She said YES!!

 And I went home and googled it and read the reviews and decided it was a relatively harmless venture… I thought, ohhhhhh… we might do it for a month or two, and then peter out, like everything else…  And I bought a bike rack and put it in the garage and didn’t want to mess with it, didn’t want to actually put a BIKE on it, because EWWWWWW… HEAVY and EWWWWWWW COMPLICATED and also that would mean we would have to actually GO somewhere with those bikes and OHHHHHHH BROTHER RIDE THEM!!! I’m not a bike rider! GOSH!!! And there’s Michelle calling, and suggesting we enter 5K races, what the heck is that?! 5K!!! that’s like a MILE or something!!!! That will surely make me SWEAT. No. Just NO. 

Somewhere around this time I watched the Jim Carey movie “Yes Man”… and I sat there on my ever-widening butt… and realized what I’d become. I was a NO MAN. 

I called Karen and I said, friend, I have to ride bikes with you. I have to say YES. I’m a YES MAN now. She laughed, and she loaded up HER bike rack and picked me up. (My own bike rack still languished in the garage.. I wasn’t ready for that yet…). I called Michelle and I said, friend, I am walking with you, I have to say YES, I’m a YES MAN now. She laughed and we walked. And we walked. And we walked. We still walk. and talk and laugh. And she joined the Y. ANd Karen joined the gym. And Cassie and I started going to the gym. And my husband. We lifted together some, he showed me how to use the machines… 

And then he started jogging on the treadmills. 7,8, 9 MILES! He jogged until he was drenched with sweat, repulsive, and high as a kite on the endorphins. And I was so jealous!! I would actively, and with malice and forethought, DISCOURAGE him from running too much. I would tell him horrible statistics about running too much. I would tell him he was actually breaking his body DOWN after a certain  point. And that’s true, but the real truth is, I was so jealous… 

Any time I’ve ever tried to run, even when I was a pudgy little kid, both my ankles would bend and crack and PAIN!!! I had weak ankles!! So I didn’t run. 

MONTHS of going to the gym with my husband, walking beside him on matching treadmills… SEETHING as he tallied mile after mile after mile… and I walked.. plod plod plod… ugh… plod… plod… plooooooood…

and then you know the rest, my daughter and I started taking tentative little baby steps towards jogging… we jogged around the golf course, little tiny baby steps… she jogged down the hollow and back up, walking up the hills, jogging on the straight-aways… I waited for a really slow kinda unpopulated day at the gym to try running on the treadmill… little tiny baby steps…

So now we run. ANd we sweat. Like truckers. My face gets so red and then stays red even after I leave the gym and go shopping at Aldi’s, so red that the nice check-out girl has a concerned look on her face, and steals sideways glances at me while she rings me out… 

And we’ve figured out the bike rack and all the straps and the hitch and the lock and the ratchet.. the whole darn thing.  The first time we took the bikes out, of course I freaked out the whole time, as the bikes jiggled and flopped around on the rack… until I observed other cars hauling bikes and saw that theirs jiggled and flopped also… World’s LEAST OBSERVANT PERSON, until it really matters… 

This morning we took a lovely 12 mile ride on the Montour Trail together, Cassie and I. We loaded the bikes like bingo bango, remembered water bottles, cell phones, and DID NOT EVEN ACCIDENTALLY LOCK THE KEYS IN THE CAR. Not once. It’s like we’re real people or something. I peddled hard to keep up with her, she’s got a mack daddy bike, plus she’s half my age… 

Also, this part is amazing, I’ve been telling everyone that I’m shrinking, because a doctor told me I was. And I thought I was only like 5 ft 2 inches tall, but this morning, we measured, and I am a willowy 5 ft 4 inches tall!!! I’m taller than I thought I was my whole life! This is HUGE! It’s changed EVERYTHING. I have different perspective, being this tall. I also have a completely different BMI, Which shouldn’t matter, but let’s be honest, for we’re nothing if not honest… So anyways, next time you see me, be sure to ask me “How’s the weather up there?” because we will have a good ol’ chuckle… 

My kids will all be here for dinner. My husband shopped around and asked around and went and got me a brand new Garmin, so no more 2008 MAPS holy crap that was annoying!!! And he washed my car! 

51 is gonna be great, for this Yes Man… I gotta go salt the steaks… 

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5 thoughts on “The Yes Man

  1. It is amazing how baby steps can build up beautiful momentum. Happy 51 to you!!

  2. I admire your baby steps and now you are jogging! Wow!

  3. Well, I have been staring at you through the blog for quite some time, and from my perspective, you have always been a SUPER YES WOMAN PLUS PLUS, but maybe you had a slight hiccup in your general class participation. You are always doing awesome stuff! Building stuff! Painting stuff! Having little tiny horses! Getting involved! That’s your overall average.

  4. So so so lovely, sister. I love the “yes man” mentality. It does keep you feelin young. Funny thing is, I have always considered you one of the best yes men in my life . . .you are always dreaming up some crazy adventure for us to tackle! By the way, I think the red face thing is a family thing because people seriously look at me like I’m gonna die when I work up a sweat (Taz gets it, too) . . .wear it with pride! 🙂 Happy birthday!

  5. awwww thank you, friends! Surprise stash of comments I didn’t even realize I had here, I am RICH!!!!

And what about Naomi?

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