momzonroof

… she's not coming down 'til it all makes sense again…

the hoodie incident

4 Comments

I will tell you a story, but I will not do this justice. Because the Boy has to tell it. When the boy tells it, you will laugh so hard your head will hurt, which will cause you to cry… and he will just keep saying more stuff and adding to it, until you can’t breathe, and you will wish you could bring this scary, out of control laughter/hysteria feeling to everyone, because it is so freeing and head-clearing…

The premise of the story is so ridiculous as to not be believed. My son is a very intelligent individual, you will have to trust me on this one. I can show you his GPA if that’s what it takes…

he was in 3rd or 4th grade. his bus was always the last bus to come in the afternoon, and so, he had some time to kill, sitting on the bleachers in the gym… waiting, waiting, ever waiting…

he looks around for something to do.. he looks up, he looks down… the first thing he sees is the sleeve of his hoodie, he’s not wearing the hoodie, so there’s the sleeve, flopping around, not bothering anyone…

He picks up the sleeve and starts absentmindedly chewing on the wrist… chew chew chew… the sleeve’s getting wet, he starts to stuff it into his mouth… which caused him to think, hmmmm… I wonder… how much of this hoodie sleeve.. can I fit… into my mouth…. chew chew chew, stuff, stuff, stuff… so he stuffs hoodie sleeve into his mouth until it starts going down his throat, and he’s gagging and drooling and stuffing and chewing HIS OWN SLEEVE, until he gags himself completely, and empties the contents of his stomach up and out and all over his shirtfront. Which he then has to blot up with his hoodie, which he then jams into his backpack, brings it home, and probably sneaks it surreptitiously into the laundry pile, for me to stumble upon later…

Looking back, I honestly can’t remember finding that particular mess, but there were so many messes… so many, many messes…

and he tells me the story three years after the fact, he acts it out for me, the stuffing, the gagging, the wadding up of the hoodie… and I laugh and I laugh…

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4 thoughts on “the hoodie incident

  1. Yay….you are back. It’s me….Terri T. of myseniormoments on Xanga.

  2. Glad to see your post! When Dude was here, he was telling me about some of the things that happened to him in high school… things that I wouldn’t have found funny then, but were pretty danged funny now!

  3. Fookin’ hilarious! Glad to see you back!

And what about Naomi?

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